My Mother Did Work- essay on "My Mother Never Worked"

my mother worked everyday of her life. my mother worked as a child. her mother had a job that didn't allow her to be home to cook dinner so my mother learned to cook and fed her family dinner every night from the age of eight. my mother worked hard in school. when it came time to take the SAT, my mother earned the best score in the entire county. she applied to one college, was accepted to one college, and graduated from that college. my mother worked hard at a job she didn't particularly love. she worked hard enough that she didn't have to work when she became pregnant with me. my mother worked when she delivered me. she was in labor for 36 hours but she worked every minute of it. she worked to raise my sister and me. she was the most organized mother i've ever known. when she had worked hard enough taking care of us she worked to clothe starving children. my mother worked in a refurbished janitor's closet.  she worked to help the mentally ill. my mother worked for God. she was on every committee the church could offer and created a few as well. my mother did her best work when she was putting the disadvantaged in homes. this was the work she loved. she worked for grants, for donated lumber, for broken families. my mother worked against cancer. she fought her very hardest to slip from its grasp. in the end, my mother could not work against death. however, she is working beyond death. everyday, she works to reveal some part of herself to me. my mother worked. everyday of her natural life, everyday of her afterlife.

it took a string of five words to put a smile on my face.
to bring me back to a  year before.
to make my day.
those five words.
over and over.
and over.


"to whom are you speaking?"

who knew..

bask in the glorious sunlight

"For the first time in my life I understood the meaning of the word never. And it's really awful. You say the words a hundred times a day but you don't really know what you're saying until you're faced with a real 'never again.'"
The Elegance of the Hedgehog. quite possibly one of the best pieces of literature ever written. so many thought provoking ideas and a perfect plot to go with. a dictionary is required but nonetheless, amazing. ultimately, life does have meaning and we realize this when someone who didn't want to exit this life had to. 

what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. no it doesn't.

stupidest phrase ever uttered. i have been absolutely torn down by things that should have killed me. the situation didn't make me stronger. i got stronger because of the people that pulled me up. so no, what doesn't kill me just makes me weak. the people make me stronger.

it's that overwhelming feeling. is she really gone? not just on vacation. not just around the corner. completely and totally and entirely gone. not here. not coming back. up there, not here.

and that's the worst feeling of all.

i can only become vulnerable with people who believe i'm truly strong. if you think i'm weak, i'll never be able to show you that side. i'll be too busy proving you wrong.